Teaching Kids to Get Along with a New Dog

Q: We are about to bring home a young adult dog from the shelter. What's the safest way to introduce him to our three-year-old toddler, and can we teach him a little pet etiquette?

Young children learn about the social world by watching others and modeling what they have observed. So it should come as no surprise that if you want children to learn how to treat pets, adults must be vigilant about modeling safe, appropriate relationships with dogs. At the age of three, children discover a range of social behavior including empathy, manners, and responsibility, to name a few. Remember, young children are still internalizing these concepts and shouldn't be expected to recall or even understand why they are important. It's up to you as parents to practice proper dog-human etiquette, so your children will follow your lead!

Optimally, Before Bringing Your New Dog Home with Children

1. Parents and the dog should have an established relationship.
2. The dog should have previous experience behaving well around kids.
3. The dog should have a basic training foundation using force-free positive reinforcement techniques.

Adults should never use intimidating, dominant training techniques around children. Never leave a young child alone with a dog, unsupervised. Alert adults should always be supervising. Try not to yell, and limit the use of the word "no." Parents can model empathy by teaching kids to be the dog's advocate. Children can learn to be their dog's "helper." Look for and reward your dog for good behavior — positive reinforcement works on kids as well as dogs!

Remember the Toddler's Point of View

Please note that your toddler is still in the "me-me-me" mindset. At this young age, children have not yet developed the concept of empathy. They have yet to learn how their actions — pulling a tail or ear, or hitting a muzzle — may unintentionally inflict pain on a pet.

Play it safe by never leaving your toddler unsupervised in a room with your new dog. Even if your dog is super sweet, he may find himself in fight-or-flight mode — and pick the former — if handled too roughly by your young child.

Train the Dog, Too

Definitely enroll you and your dog in a positive reinforcement-style obedience class as soon as possible. Work with your dog to ensure he masters these very important skills: sits promptly when told, comes when called, heeds the "stay" cue, drops a toy when asked, gently takes treats, does not guard his food bowl, and greets visitors by sitting pretty and not jumping up on them.

Remember, dogs want to learn and they want to please. The key to any training success is to practice the three C's: be clear, be concise, and be consistent. Make sure everyone (other than your toddler) honors the three C's to improve your dog's behavior, especially around your child. Decide if the words in the family should be stay or wait, come or get over here.

Conduct mini training sessions, lasting 5 to 10 minutes, a few times each day. Pick times when distractions are kept to a minimum, and time them for when your dog is hungry — it makes for a better-motivated canine student!

Be encouraging and positive. Reward your dog with bite-sized treats and praise for behaving appropriately. Yelling at or physically punishing your dog "caught in the act" will only heighten his anxiety and frustration levels — and worsen his behaviors. Take on the role of benevolent leader, the keeper of all good resources.

When raised safely together, your toddler and your dog will become fast friends, and your child will enjoy a lifetime of wonderful memories of his first dog.